I wish for something..
I'm not being dramatic,
I'm not being emotional,
Everyone wishes,
so why cant I?

I wish...
or should I not...

Hope always leads to disappointment,
no matter how hard you tried
even when you tried your best,
even when you archived something,
human may never be satisfied.
Well, that's what people says...

As a matter of fact,
nothing is perfect.
Some people wish for perfect-ness,
but they just don't realize,
have they ever thought about themselves?
Like i said,
nothing is perfect,
so why are you?

Every time when I wanted to speak,
every time when I tried to share,
It's not that easy..
Those words coming out from my mouth,
I have to think about them,
analyze them,
or even modify them,
before they come out..
I knew this is common.
But even though i tried,
i was always wrong...
and i don't know why.
You see,
I ain't perfect at all...

Yet,
I always wanted to share
or someone to talk to..
I once received comments that are beautiful,
but things are different
when all i received was anger or ignorance..
I like it when there was still such thing called pillow talk.
I like it when I'm lying on the bed,
spreading out everything in my mind.
But now,
I chose to stay silence..

It's not that i doesn't care anymore
but the fact is,
I'm just caring..
I hate to see anger
I hate to see coldness..
and i'm afraid of what may happen next,
I'm afraid of the future..
so what can I do?

Now,
I wish...
I wish...
but i shouldn't be..
cause i know,
wish doesn't come true...
and all i can do...
is try my best
until the very end...

Things are going quite tough lately.
For a moment,
when i thought when everything will be ok,
when i thought hardworking will make this right;
For a moment,
when i thought my life is going to change..
It was just lies..

Yesterday,
i went kang's house for bbq gathering..
Fortunately,
latecomers are still invited
and everyone had their great time..

This should be my first time
seeing my buddies bringing their partners
and all of them look great together..
However,
I'm envious,
I'm envious when everyone is asking me about why she isn't there.
I'm envious when I see how sweet and caring the others are together.
I wish i had the same thing.
It's not that something went wrong between us,
but i am sure
that something isn't right...

Anyway,
that night I'm kinda numb
not having the right feeling at the right moment.
After all what had just past,
and what i was going through at the moment,
I was only there playing with my hp
and my friend kinda complained about that.
Guess I'm just missing her too much :p

Middle of the night,
well,
it was kinda sleepless night.
But i wouldn't have regret
as being 'played' by friends, not allowing me to fall asleep;
as having all the craziest talks and stuff,
it was the first time I actually felt unstressed
not wondering about any other stuff
or even thinking about them.
That moment,
just for that moment,
I felt alive again...

However.
night doesn't last long either..
I am now back to my home,
wondering this and that,
but not knowing what to with them.
Life sucks again...@@

Now,
I'm wondering..
What might happen in the future?
Who knows, but...
I'm afraid of it..