Things are going quite tough lately.
For a moment,
when i thought when everything will be ok,
when i thought hardworking will make this right;
For a moment,
when i thought my life is going to change..
It was just lies..

Yesterday,
i went kang's house for bbq gathering..
Fortunately,
latecomers are still invited
and everyone had their great time..

This should be my first time
seeing my buddies bringing their partners
and all of them look great together..
However,
I'm envious,
I'm envious when everyone is asking me about why she isn't there.
I'm envious when I see how sweet and caring the others are together.
I wish i had the same thing.
It's not that something went wrong between us,
but i am sure
that something isn't right...

Anyway,
that night I'm kinda numb
not having the right feeling at the right moment.
After all what had just past,
and what i was going through at the moment,
I was only there playing with my hp
and my friend kinda complained about that.
Guess I'm just missing her too much :p

Middle of the night,
well,
it was kinda sleepless night.
But i wouldn't have regret
as being 'played' by friends, not allowing me to fall asleep;
as having all the craziest talks and stuff,
it was the first time I actually felt unstressed
not wondering about any other stuff
or even thinking about them.
That moment,
just for that moment,
I felt alive again...

However.
night doesn't last long either..
I am now back to my home,
wondering this and that,
but not knowing what to with them.
Life sucks again...@@

Now,
I'm wondering..
What might happen in the future?
Who knows, but...
I'm afraid of it..